Self Esteem - A look Through Our Mirror
When I talk about self-esteem, I'm not just talking about what's on the outside. I won't be one that says that what you look like doesn't matter....(my mom used to say 'it's what's inside that counts'). I definitely believe that - but it's just not healthy to believe that how you present yourself, appearance-wise, means nothing. If that's true I have some bad news for hair salons, clothing stores, glamour magazines, ad infinitum.
I look at self-esteem with a four prong approach. The areas are uniqueness, connectiveness, power and models. The first seems to be the hardest to comprehend and make useful.
Uniqueness is the total of your own characteristics. It's how you differ from everyone else on the planet. It's your palm or finger prints. It's that 'thing' that makes you 'unique'. I would probably say that my uniqueness is my sense of humor (I was told today that I'm ready to do stand-up! Did I make a bad career move?), the way I look and have compassion for people, the way I think and the priorities I have for my life. With some guidance and thought you can list yours as well. Most people shy away from saying anything good about themselves. How sad.
Connectiveness is the people you have connections with. It's most helpful to have friends and friendships that help you to grow and value who you are.Some groups are: church groups, church choir, a card group (bridge, bunco, etc.) a book club. The only acceptable connections are not just groups though. I have two friends that I love dearly and we need to get together just to maintain our stability and we laugh a lot!
Power is the ability you have to do the daily living tasks: balancing a check book, reading at a significant grade level, knowing how to take car of your car - or knowing who to take it to that does know. Imagine a 6th grader reading at the 2nd grade level - how powerful do you think he/she feels. Many of the elements of power can be taught, accepting one's strength's and weakness' is the hard part. Work with your counselor!
The other category is Models. Models tell you what kind of person you want to be - I want to be as smart as Greg House with an infinitely nicer manner. Models incorporate your value system, religion (or not) the person with the characteristics you aim for. When Phyllisha Rashad played Bill Cosby's wife - she was my role model: smart, good figure, good vocation, positive attitude with their children, etc. Role models are very important to your self-esteem and you don't have to have achieved positive results because you are always given a life time to work on it.
I believe that working on self-esteem in one of my strengths. Give yourself an uplift and experience the workings with me.
